Yerrdig!:

Transformers 2 F.A.Q.s! Pt. 1

Courtesy of Topless Robot

Are there honestly 46 new Transformers in the movie?
I have no fucking clue. It’s impossible to tell most of them apart except for Optimus and the Racist Twins (there’s another yellow Autobot who I constantly thought was Bumblebee). There could be 46, or there could be 12. I honestly would believe 12 if someone had said that.

What is the status of the Transformers at the beginning of the film?
The Autobots have joined the military to hunt down the Decepticons. We’re told the Decepticons are “doing things,” but they appear to be hiding peacefully when the Autobots show up and brutally murder them.

What?
Yeah. The Decepticons aren’t apparently doing anything, then the Autobots show up, the Decepticons run for their goddamn lives, and the Autobots hunt them down and brutally murder them. It’s kind of weird.

Why is the U.S. military helping them?
Supposedly to help keep the Transformers a secret from the public. Although since the climax of the last film was a massive firefight involving 50-foot robots and took place over five miles of downtown Los Angeles and the beginning of this film wrecks several miles of Shanghai, China, they seem to be incredibly shitty at their job.

How does the U.S. military help them?
Well, not at all, actually. They just kind of come along with guns and stuff, and act like they’re going to help, but the Autobots do all the work.

Why is the U.S. military in this movie at all, then?
Because Michael Bay has a huge erection for jets and tanks and aircraft carriers and considers giant robots only a necessary evil for the film. At least 15 full minutes of the film’s 150-minute run time is nothing but footage of jets and tanks and planes without any robots or actual action whatsoever.

How is Sam Witwicky dragged back into the fight?
Well, he finds a fragment of the Allspark shard. You know, the Allspark that he spent all last movie being told he shouldn’t give to Megatron, but when he gave it to Megatron, it killed Megatron. That one. Anyways, the shard makes the Beef see symbols and act like more of an spaz than usual.

So the Decepticons want the shard? Why?
Uh… to bring Megatron back to life?

What?
That’s what they said.

But the Allspark killed Megatron in the first movie?
Yes.

…and now it can also bring him back to life.
It’s very powerful, this Allspark.

Uh-huh. So what’s their plan to get it?
They send a small R/C car who talks like Joe Pesci in Casino to get it.

Shouldn’t they have sent Starscream or somebody?
Look, there’s another Allspark shard and get that one anyways, so it doesn’t matter.

Well, then why do they give a shit about Sam?
The symbols. In his head. That the shard of the Allspark gave him.

They weren’t in the other shard?
Apparently not.

So how do the Decepticons plan to get the symbols, I guess?
Well, the Decepticons have very cunningly created a hot chick robot who they enrolled in the same college and put in the same astronomy class as Sam. And they made her a huge slut.

Wait.
Waiting.

There’s a slutty Decepticon?
Yeah, she’s a real ho. The Decepticons apparently have an incredibly powerful slut-making program, because she has it down, man. Anyways—

Didn’t Sam touch the shard and get the symbols stuck in his head on his first day of college?
Yes.

So the Decepticons made a slutty robot to attend his college and enrolled her in classes and put her in on-campus housing just in case Sam ended up being important at some point in the future?
Apparently. It was an elaborate plan, but it sure paid off.

How so?
Well, not at all. The slut-bot made out with him for a little bit then immediately tried to kill him, neither for any apparent motive or gain.

It sounds preposterous.
Doesn’t matter, because the Decepticons use the shard piece they do have to resurrect Megatron! He’s back! Ooo! Scary!

Why is this scary? All he wanted was the Allspark, and now it’s gone.
…because he has a boss! He’s called the Fallen, because he’s so evil! He has an evil plan to use a machine on Earth to blow up the sun and make energon! Or something! It’s not very clear.

Now you’re just making shit up as you go along, aren’t you?
Best not to think too much about it. Anyways, the symbols in the Beef’s head are a map to where this machine exists, so the hunt is on and Sam shortly is captured by other, less slutty Decepticons in one of the many instances where Bumblebee inexplicably abandons the Beef so he can conveniently be in trouble.

Then a robot called the Doctor who speaks gibberish with a German accent shoves things up Shia’s nose and gets the symbols.

That’s that, then, right? The Decepticons win?
No! Because Optimus Prime saves Sam before they cut off his head, which has another treasure inside!

Really? What is that?
No one really bothers to explain this, actually. Suffice to say, the Decepticons continue to want Sam. Oh, then Optimus Prime fights three Decepticons at once and dies.

Where the hell were the other Autobots during this fight?
I don’t know. They were with him before the fight, but then they disappear and show up right after he dies. But they appear sad about Optimus dying. Marginally. I mean, they don’t get any screen time or dialogue to convey any feelings or anything, but there’s some sad music playing for a little bit afterwards. I assume this means the robots that are off-screen are grieving.

Well, if one shard brought Megatron back to life, can’t Sam just use his shard piece to resurrect Optimus?
Yes. He could.

…
…

Well?
He doesn’t.

Why not?
I’m not sure exactly.

Then what the hell does he do?
He decides get those symbols that were in his head translated to figure out what the Fallen’s up to.

Which Autobot does the translating?
Err… none of them. Actually, it’s John Turturro.

What. The fuck.
Yeah, since he was laid off from his super-secret government agent job, he now works in a NY deli and runs a super-popular Transformers conspiracy theory website. Like ya do.

And why couldn’t an Autobot translate these symbols?
Because Bumblebee is mute and the Racist Twins are poor black robots from the slums of Cybertron who never learned how to read. It’s a sad commentary on Cybertronian society. Like The Wire, actually.

Where the hell are the other Autobots?
I don’t know. Away. They seem to be unable to be reached. They’re probably grieving about Optimnus still. Clearly, John Turturro is the reasonable solution here.

To be continued…

PHZ-Sicks - No More Break

To download or listen, go to:
http://usershare.net/00z0eavqpoxt

(verse 1)
I woke up this morning with a dollar and dream
And figured out, life isn’t really what it seems
What seems to be progress turns to bullshit
And leaves usseeking for the words without the help of linguist
The stars align, it’s the end of the world says the physic
Lord, please forgive me for all my sins, it’s
Another day, another struggle
Just another rapper talking bout his fucking hustle
But the.. crack heads dying, yet we keep on buying
Then we say keep it real, but they keep on lying
If a person deceives you and then makes a fortune
Off the money you worked hard for that’s called extortion
But we’re retorting these coherents while barely affording
To all the bullshit that you just bought in
The kids are starving and euros superior
While America is standing in the rear view mirror
of the world, and with all this chaos that we’re in
I wonder will it ever end or will it be the end?
These are the questions stress me out daily
I dont know what to do so please Lord will ya save me

(chorus)
As I get down on my knees
Please Lord Saviour help me please
Take me away to where I want to be
I’m too young to die, I got so much see
Please, don’t clip my wings
I’m too fly, I need to see more things
So don’t take me before I wake
Cause’ I have to stay grinding, no more breaks


(Verse 2)
The time are depressing, it’s another recession
Families are homelesss, mortages reach excessive
The stress can’t be dealt with, less money, more weapons
Get our refunds, They wants us to buy clothes, how refreshing
We been doing that for years and the money ain’t here
Now we’re further from our dreams but yet closer to our fears
But the little girl in the broken home wants to be the President
Was told that she needs wealth and some type of precedent
Was laughed at, was told that her dreams were outrageous
She was pretty and need to be the girls she seen in the pages
Of male magazines and become a fantasy
For a dude whose no good and only wants her sexually
But she ignored ‘em and she kept on rolling
Haters kept on talking, saying she wouldn’t amount to nothing
Graduated head of her class and now the true irony
is, now she’s the President of her own damn company

(chorus)

(verse 3)
Sleep right now is so overrated
I sleep after my time comes and I’ve made it
And abated the situation until it’s hated
By those cats who doing nothing but yet are so menstruated
And jaded of where you’re at and what you have to say
But success is being able to spend your life in your own way.
No bull ole, the struggles just foreplay
if world doesn’t believe, keep going til things are your way

Missing

How many times do you wake up in the morning and say “I love my arm”? Probably never. Why? Because its always there and you figure that it is always going to be there. Until you meet the day, when you don’t have an arm. Then you look back at all the things you could do when ya had it and you finally notice how much you loved that arm. And you might be able to get an artificial arm but it’s not the same. You won’t feel complete til you have that arm back! -PHZ-Sicks

Cuss Words: The Beauty and Affect of Them

Curse words. They seem to be the most effective way to show how you feel, in my personal opinion. I am an avid curser since I’ve been raised around it, from family members to music and television. When I usually cuss, I never really have any malice behind it. The use of it is to explain something and give it more depth, but some people get offended by it. I love to cuss, not just cause (I don’t do it just to do it), but to get a point across. That is what speech is about. Even though I love it: The thing is, there is a good and bad casual sequence associated with it.

First of all, I will like to say it is not against the Bible to say, what we deem as curse words a sin. It is not a Biblical sin, but more of a social taboo. I have yet to read a chapter, which says that “fuck, bitch, ass milk” or any other connotation considered dirty as a sin.There are curse words in the Bible, but the follow the actual “definition”of curse (we’ll get in to that later). If the word “the” was considered to be in the category as such words, we would deem it as bad either, even though it is really harmless.

Or is it?

Although it might be meant in a harmless way when saying it, scientifically the brain has a different view on it. Taboo words activate brains area with a negative emotion. Just by hearing a negative word, the right hemisphere of the brain is activated.

The basal ganglia is where motor control, cognition, but most importantly where emotion is made. Every time a cuss word is said or written, a negative emotion is automatically processed involuntarily. A clear case of this is the STROOP TEST.

In the demonstration, you should have been able to do the first part without a hitch. Just saying them and knocking them out like nothing. Once you get to the second part, you’ll notice you register them a little slower than before. Why is that? It is the involuntary negativity you get from seeing words like that, that bothers you. All words have affect people, but cuss words do it the most. There is a reason behind why people do it and it is not always negative.

Forms of Cussing
1. Supernatural - damn, hell, Jesus Christ
2. Bodily Effigies and Organs - ass, dick, asshole
3. Disease, death - “I curse a pox on you”
4. Sexuality revulsion - fucking, dick
5.Disfavored people and groups - nigger, kike, spic

How We Swear
1. Dysphemistic Swearing
2. Abusive Swearing - to intimidate or humiliate someone

There is a lot of ingenuity of abusive swearing. A person tries their hardest to come up with some of the most disturbing things to hurt the other person. Most of the time, it is accusing the other person of undignified sexual activities. An MRI study is shows that a lot of brown power goes in to swearing.

Why do people try to evoke negative emotion in listeners?

• Dysphemistic Swearing - shit—-> feces, fuck—>copulate - all synonyms but the cuss word is used to show how awful it is.
• Euphemism - this is when you feel that you have to talk about it even when you don’t.
• Dis-euphemism - This is the many variations to say one word and you use the least awful to get your point across. A prime example is that there are 34 euphemisms for the word feces. All range from generic, formed with children, medical, animals, agriculture. These are needed because you never want a doctor to ask you for a “doo doo” sample or that your playground your kids are playing on is full of shit. The need for dis-euphemisms: “Will you pick your dog shit up?”It lets the receiver know how mad you are.
• Incest - Motherfucker
• Sodomy - bugger, fellatio, masturbation
• Bestiality - This is a quote that originated from 1585: “Kiss the cunt of a cow!” Now that is what I called alliteration and GRADE Acussing right there.
• Idiomatic - Shit out of Luck, Piss poor
• Inviscid Swearing - “Look at him! He thinks he’s Michael Fucking Jordan or something!”

I use this form of cussing the most. Saying things like it’s fucking brilliant or that’s fucking great falls in that category. Although, I don’t see the harm in it, somebody else might.

• Fuck Patois - Example: “I come home to my fucking house after three fucking years in the fucking war and what do I fucking well find, my wife engage in illicit sexual activities.
• Cathartic Swearing - This is the most conventional swearing. Most people do this after hurting themselves.
• Rage Circuit Theory: If you ever stepped on a tail of a cat, the first thing they do is hiss or growl at you. This is basically telling you to step the fuck back from the cat. If someone hits you or a person cuts you off when not turning on the turn signal, your rage circuit could be ignited and start this.
• Response Cry Theory - Communication that informs bystanders on what you are going through.

And the main reason people cuss:

To impose their thoughts on others. Doing this allows the person to gain the other person’s attention, intimidate, humiliate them, amongst other things.

CONCLUSION

At the end of the day, there is no way that cussing will not be able negatively affect someone. Even if you mean no harm by it, the brain is already against you. You have to take in consideration on how the person feels. they also should know how you act and what you find as normal dialect between you. The biggest thing that divides people is miscommunication. By talking, problems such as cuss words will not be that: A PROBLEM.

PHZ-Sicks performance this Wednesday!

RAP LEAGUES May 22,2009 Washington, D.C.-

Beginning on Wednesday May 27,2009 Washington DC nightclub Expo and Axum in partnership with dcrap.com Tyrone Norris, Backie Thomas (Sky Republic) , and igotit4free.com (Angela Byrd) will kick-off the hiphop concert series “Rap Leagues” located at 1928 U st NW Washington D.C.

The official line up will include mc’s Phil Ade, Chris Barz, Angel B, Ace La Bella, AP, ABtheproducer, K-Beta, Lyriciss, Phz-Sicks,Kingpin Slim, Young I, X.O., and The Five One band.Mc’s  will be split between two venues, two bands, two DJ’s and one mic to compete for who can rock the house more. Expo and Axum nightclub include some of the venues on U st that have partnered up with local hiphop acts to claim U st is the “THE HOME OF DMV HIPHOP “. Admission is $5 and you must be 21 to enter. Show will begin at 9pm.

RSVP HERE

All Media Inquiries contact info@igotit4free.com tyrone.norris@gmail.com or backiet@gmail.com